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It's not often that you match with a really, really hot girl on Tinder.
Thing is...
Usually, when you talk to such pretty women, they act extra cold and standoffish.
So let's see exactly how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
In this article, you will learn about:
The mindset shift that will get you hot girls
A detailed case study with screenshots of a difficult girl I recently met
Let's get into it!
The Mindset Shift That Will Get You Hot Girls
Here when I talk about difficult girls, I'm not talking about uninterested girls.
When a girl is not interested, it's simple:
We move on.
Here's the Wolf of Wall Street himself, Jordan Belfort, telling you about qualifying your matches.
It's basic sales: you can't sell something to someone who does not want it (even if they came inside your shop).
And if you're having trouble with this, check out our very detailed article how to tell when a girl is not interested on Tinder.
And when you know how to text difficult girls on Tinder, you understand it's actually quite similar.
I'm talking here about girls who are interested in you.
But who still make it very difficult to have a proper conversation.
Why Are Some Girls So Difficult On Tinder
Girls can be difficult for a variety of reasons:
She receives so many messages from guys that she can't possibly spend time replying properly to all of them.
Something in your profile or texts feels a bit off to her, and she's testing you.
She's distrustful of men on dating apps, or men in general, because of bad past experiences.
She's a porn actress and is totally desensitized to flirting (... I actually dated one).
She's just very bad at communicating over texts.
So I understand the frontier between a difficult girl and a not-interested one is thin.
And that's the very reason why I am writing this article.
To teach you exactly how to text difficult girls on Tinder, because I understand it's confusing.
I don't want you to miss opportunities with hot women simply because it's not easy.
Opportunities that you'd miss just because you don't know how to text difficult girls on Tinder properly.
Because, look.
The most beautiful women in this world actually have this "difficult" behavior.
Not because they are huge bitches with an inflated ego.
But simply because they have higher standards.
And do not go with the first guy who comes by and says he likes them.
Because if she's pretty, she's being offered sex multiple times a day
Ask any hot woman you know, that's the reality they live in, and they need to filter all those men out somehow.
Thing is, if you don't know how to text difficult girls on Tinder, you will be stuck dating low self-esteem and average girls.
Do Not Look for Female Validation
There is a huge, huge misconception when it comes to dating.
It's the idea that:
"If a woman likes you, she will let you know and she will show it."
This couldn't be further from the truth.
If you want to know how to text difficult girls on Tinder, you must understand that hot girls usually do not show their interest.
Period.
At least before a certain stage, deep into the relationship.
And if you are really looking to date the best women, you must stop looking for clear signs of interest.
Why Hot Girls Don't Show Their Interest
Showing a lot of interest to someone you just met is actually not very smooth at all.
And this might sound harsh but I'll say it anyway:
It communicates that one has low standards (since it immediately states unconditional interest).
And a person with low standards for others probably has low standards for themselves.
And if you want to know how to text difficult girls on Tinder, it's probably because you have high standards yourself.
And want quality women.
Here's the point: if you only look for girls who validate you and show immediate interest, you will only date low-quality women.
If you can't stand girls being a bit standoffish or difficult, you will not date high-quality women.
Pro Tip: Women are (almost always) less invested in a guy before having sex, it's natural for the guy to make the moves. After sex, this dynamic changes, and women tend to be more invested than men. |
And yet, I get into online arguments weekly when I preach pursuing hot girls and show how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
Because, for some reason, a lot of men assume that a girl who does not show interest in them early on is either:
Boring
Not interested
A basic bitch
And every time I see a man holding such belief, I know this guy never dated a really hot girl.
Actually, I know why guys deeply hate pursuing hot women.
They have no idea how to get with hot girls in the first place.
Not being able to attract them brings them back to their lack of dating success.
They start hating on those girls to feel better about themselves, calling them basic, superficial, or boring.
(While they still own OnlyFans subscriptions of girls who look just like them.)
So if you find yourself in this, honestly, you should stop reading this article right now.
Because I'm about to teach you exactly how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
Start Looking for Female Compliance
The big mindset shift I will ask from you here is to go from seeking validation to seeking compliance.
It's key if you want to know how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
It might be the case that so far you learned to make moves on girls who show you interest.
And maybe you had some success with that.
But this will not take you to the next level.
Looking for female compliance will take you to that next level, and allow you to date 8-10s.
If you want to know how to text difficult girls on Tinder, remember that word, compliance.
By compliance, I mean having women agree to your ideas, agree to your directions, agree to the way you're leading the interaction.
Instead of looking for women who talk a lot and send lengthy texts I want you to look for women complying to your lead.
That's how to text difficult girls on Tinder if you want to get them on a date.
Because hot girls have high standards, they only want a confident man who knows what he's doing.
And such a man does not need women to constantly remind him that "he's doing well in seducing her".
Again, women want a man who is used to being successful with women (or who at least doesn't give a shit about being rejected for pursuing what he wants).
Not a man who needs female validation to keep pursuing.
A man who knows how to text difficult girls on Tinder will be able to pursue what he really wants, even if he doesn't immediately gets rewarded for it.
Now of course, to have women comply with your lead in the first place, you have to understand how to lead a Tinder interaction to a date.
Today's article will not focus on that, so if you're having trouble leading your Tinder conversations, have a look at my extremely detailed Tinder guide.
Instead, I want to share a recent interaction I had with a super hot girl on Tinder.
Case Study: Handling a Difficult Girl on Tinder
Here's a girl I recently matched with, let's use it as an example to show how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
I was hesitating in sharing it here because I got trash-talked a lot after sharing it online.
People said she was:
- boring
- superficial
- a scammer (??)
Because here's what our first exchange looked like:
I can understand why some men would immediately put her in the "waste of time" basket:
They are tired of being hurt by countless Tinder conversations that never led anywhere.
And most likely, they don't know how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
But here's the thing: you know better.
Because we make sure our Tinder conversations either end in a fuck yes or a fuck no.
We don't get emotionally affected when things get difficult.
We persist.
We are not cry babies looking for women to be nice to us so we can finally feel enough and good about ourselves.
We persist.
Because we are tired of meeting average and below-average women.
We persist.
That's the spirit you want to have, that's how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
Notice how she gave me nothing for the first few texts.
And notice how, instead of trying harder, I did a few takeaways.
Because where most men would chase and become dancing monkeys to get her to react, we know better.
This is not how to text difficult girls on Tinder, it's not because they are difficult that you want to try harder.
That would be very needy behavior, and this is definitely not attractive.
We instead choose to pursue in an attractive way by keeping the ball rolling, but simply withdrawing our interest.
Because we can handle discomfort.
And that's exactly what you want to do when a girl is being difficult:
Keep the ball rolling, don't stop talking.
Don't give your power away, instead withdraw your validation.
Notice how she gave me nothing, but eventually hooked and told me about having a shisha.
That's the compliance sign I was looking for.
I then transitioned towards a more flirtatious conversation, to see if she would comply with that as well.
Which she did.
From then onwards, she was still not giving me much validation.
But she was giving me all the compliance I needed to get her phone number.
And that kept on until I got her to agree on a date, and received her phone number.
The Secret to Make the Same Happen for You
Most men are extremely confused when a girl gives them nothing to talk about.
That's really how to text difficult girls on Tinder: you don't have to talk about anything specific.
That's the secret, just keep talking and stay unphased.
What you say doesn't matter, it's how you say it that matters.
It's not about how witty you are or the topics you talk about.
It's the sub-communication that matters:
- The way you don't become needy when she gives you not much.
- Your ability to break rapport when the conversation doesn't go your way.
- How you're not phased by her not showing you immediate interest.
It's about how you react to her being "difficult" that matters.
And so we eventually met up, here's the WhatsApp follow-up.
She kept being difficult, and I kept being "normal" and acting on her complying with my lead.
Hold your Ground & Date More Hot Women
So you learned how to text difficult girls on Tinder.
And you now know how to not miss those opportunities anymore.
Because by going for easy girls only, you will not end up dating the hottest girls.
But also because once you match with a very hot girl, you don't want to screw it up and do the wrong thing.
You're now able to keep pursuing the right way.
Liked that? Then you might be interested in joining a community of guys working on improving their dating lives. We share dating advice, experiences and push each other up!
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