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This extremely detailed Tinder guide will tell you all that you need to know about Tinder dating in 2022 and beyond.
Years after years you've been using Tinder.
And for some reason, you don't get it.
Which makes no sense, because you're a smart guy.
But you can't get dates with girls like her still.
No matches, no dates, no Netflix & Chill.
Or maybe you're a complete newbie who just started using dating apps.
Well, lucky you.
Because today you will learn about:
This extremely detailed Tinder guide is going to be a lengthy, in-depth article.
So feel free to click on the links above to go directly to the part you're most interested in.
Sounds good?
Let's go!
What it's Like to Use Tinder as a Guy in 2022
Alright, this is the part where I will maybe make you a little bit sad.
Why?
Because I am going to destroy every myth that you might believe in when it comes to your chances on dating apps.
And I am going to rebuild you as a new man, aware of every Tinder shenanigans.
A lot of what is going to be discussed below might make you mad. I know because I've been coaching guys for years: dating is easier for women and it's frustrating. But it's really important that you get better, not bitter if you want to win this game. |
Because before playing the game you want to understand the rules.
The same way you don't win a game of Monopoly by buying a single house on every property.
But by knowing the most profitable properties and doubling down on them.
The same goes with Tinder.
You must understand the rules of the game, what is the most efficient way to win, and how to make it happen.
And that's exactly what this extremely detailed Tinder guide is about to do for you.
Male VS Female Results on Tinder
We are first going to compare the kinds of results a guy and a girl can both expect to get on Tinder.
Studies showed that women hit their peak attractiveness level at 18 and men at 50.
So I created 2 fake Tinder accounts to be in their late 20s, a guy & a girl.
This is arguably the age where both of their social market values are equivalent.
And I also tried to have them be of the same physical 'hotness' for this Tinder guide.
Your Social Market Value is how much value you have in the eyes of the opposite sex, and people in general. Many things influence it, such as your network, your social skills, your physical attractiveness, how good you are at doing what you do, etc. |
You might remember my Markus profile from the article how to tell if a girl is not interested on Tinder.
Not an incredible model with ripped abs, but nice photos still.
Now meet Jenny:
Both accounts were placed in Ottawa, Canada.
The Results
Our good guy Markus went over the 99+ likes mark in a week, not a bad score.
Jenny, received over 100 likes in... one hour.
It probably took less time than that but I checked again after an hour and she already passed the 99+ likes bar while it took multiple days for the male profile to pass it.
Do you understand why you need to join the top 20%?
Because if you don't follow this very detailed Tinder guide, you will get no dates from Tinder.
Or just a very few, with women you won't want to meet anyways.
So don't despair just yet, I'll tell you exactly how to make Tinder work for you.
But let's see some more data first.
Tinder is Pay to Win
Tinder used to be really free when it first came out in 2012.
Actually, Tinder was not even swipe-based when it first came out (the more you know).
Then things went downhill real quick:
In 2013, came the swipe feature and the ads.
In 2015, Tinder Plus launched as the first Tinder paid subscription, adding Super Likes and the Rewind button.
In 2016, you were then able to buy boosts.
In 2017, Tinder Gold came out, which was a huge hit.
Then finally in 2020 came Tinder Platinum, which made it clearly "pay to win".
As of now, the more you pay, the more chances you've got to get a hot date.
But what can we do, it's a business after all.
What I can tell you for sure is that Tinder as a free user is rough.
In 2020, Tinder had over 6.6 million paid users, which is roughly 10% of its user base.
And all Tinder subscriptions give all sorts of advantages in getting noticed first.
So if you're not a paying member, you're already at a disadvantage.
Because you're already put behind paid users.
But wait.
There's much more that makes Tinder really tough for the average guy.
How Many Girls Are There for Every Guy on Tinder?
The numbers are honestly quite scary.
In 2019 in the UK, it was reported there were 9 men for every 1 woman on Tinder.
But at the same time, last month I worked with a guy located in Brighton, UK.
And I managed to secure at least 1 date a week from Tinder for him.
So yes, the odds are insane.
This is why you need to follow this detailed Tinder guide if you want to know how to get dates from Tinder.
Because if you play your cards right Tinder is a game that you can definitely win.
What is the male to female ratio on Tinder in the US?
This 2021 study states it's closer to 4 men for every 1 woman on Tinder in the US.
So if we compare this to real life, it's like going to a club where there are 4 guys for every girl.
Would your odds be high meeting a girl in such a place?
Not if you're an average guy.
So should you give up on dating apps whatsoever?
Because don't think the grass is greener on other apps.
Bumble has 2.5 guys for every girl.
OkCupid has 2 guys for every girl.
Actually, if you want a balanced ratio your best bet is Instagram with roughly 50% users of each sex.
But no, I don't think you should give up.
You want to become above-average instead.
And honestly, it's not that hard to beat the competition.
Just have a look at what most guys' profiles look like.
Nothing impressive, really.
To get dates on Tinder you want to stand out.
And to do that...
You just have to do the right things.
Which I'm about to reveal for you right now.
That's how nice I am, fam.
How to Get More Matches on Tinder in 2022
Let me give it to you straight:
The #1 thing in getting more matches is to get better photos.
But don't stop reading just yet, because anyone can get top photos that get matches, even without abs and a super square jaw.
I just want you to understand what to focus on.
This:
Will always get more matches and dates on Tinder than that:
Incredible, right?
Same amazing guy, but totally different vibes from both Tinder photos:
One makes me look like an outgoing, successful entrepreneur.
The other makes me look like a lazy bum.
And to be honest, I am both lol.
But I understand what photos work to get matches on Tinder.
Depending on the situation, I will showcase a different angle on me.
I use the first photo to get matches on Tinder, and the second one as an example of a bad Tinder picture.
Because no matter how witty the bio, no matter how funny the texts.
Great photos make or break your profile.
Online dating photos are not about faking what you are. It's all about putting your best foot forward and being smart enough to show your most appealing side first. |
The bio and other flavor info you can put around your profile matter too, but way less.
It just makes a lot of sense because appearances are the most obvious thing on dating apps.
And emotions are extremely hard to convey over the internet.
If you don't want appearances to play such a huge role, get off the dating apps and watch my tutorial to start approaching in real life.
But for now, let's learn the rules of online dating so you can make the most of that game.
Your Bio and Info Help Convey your Personality
Let's start with your bio and all other info you can give on top of your photos.
I'm talking about the kind of flavored text you put around your photos, like prompts on Hinge for example.
While those are not the main reason why a girl will swipe right on you, they can help.
If she's on the fence, that can make a difference.
So yes I know this is Hinge, but I think it's a better example of the principle behind it:
All that you need is to write something that will get a chuckle out of her.
Make it "a little bit" funny or interesting like the example below, and that will be good enough.
An efficient Tinder bio follows a simple pattern as well.
Here's my most recent one:
You want to divide it into 3 parts:
What she will like about you.
What you will like about her.
A fun and light part, to have her giggle and show you have a personality.
What's the point of having such a bio if photos matter so much?
Well, this detailed Tinder guide wouldn't be complete without it.
You want to optimize everything, and the bio is a part of that.
And on top of conveying your personality, building trust, and reassuring the girls watching your profile, it also has a secret added benefit.
It helps girls text you first.
That's even less work for you, isn't that great?
In fact, this study shows that if you get women to text you first, you're 150% more likely to get them out on a date.
So get your bio and info right, hmkay?
And let's jump into the main thing that will get you the most matches.
Use Photos that Stand Out to Get More Matches
After thousands of years of trial and error, I've figured out what photos seem to get the most matches on Tinder.
Okay, not thousands of years, but years still.
See, I've been managing other guys' Tinder accounts for years.
And after:
Watching inside the Tinder account of dozens of ugly, average and extra-handsome dudes.
Making my own multiple experiments all over the world.
Going on hundreds of Tinder dates and asking my matches about it.
I came up with the 4 main photos you need.
The main goal of those photos is to convey 2 things:
You're an attractive guy she will enjoy hanging out with.
You're not going to send her dick pics, ruin her life, or murder her.
Your First Photo is the Most Important
For your first picture, I want you to think "casual ID photo".
You know it, online dating is fast-paced.
In fact, most women are way too demanded on dating apps to go through your whole profile if your first photo isn't appealing.
So make sure your first photo is your strongest point.
It's very important that you show your face as clearly as possible.
This is one of my favorites.
Everything is great in this photo:
Face is clearly visible
Background is amazing
Vibe is light and relaxed
Yes, the ripped body helps, this guy understands the importance of being the full package.
I will always encourage you to go to the gym, especially if you want to meet hotter women.
Overall, it's an amazing example of what the first Tinder photo should be.
Show your Body to Make her Comfortable
What you want to do is have your profile unfold naturally.
First, she sees your face.
Then, she wants to have a look at your whole body.
Here it's very important to not hide anything.
We all know those chubby Tinder girls who hide their shapes under weird angles!
And you know how it feels when you end up on that date and she doesn't look like her pictures.
Women feel the same about shady photo angles.
Show her exactly what she will get on a date with you:
You, from head to toes.
Such a photo will make you way more real in her mind.
And this will ensure you get more dates on Tinder.
Remember that to make women comfortable in going on a Tinder date, they have to know what to expect.
The simple fact she can picture in her mind exactly who she will meet helps tremendously.
Interesting Hobbies Make you Relatable
You then want to show that you have a heart.
That within this sexy Tinder profile, there is depth.
And the best way to do that is to show things that are dear to you.
Things that define you, and things that are a great part of your life.
Displaying your hobbies is amazing at doing exactly that.
Here's a photo I've been rocking for over a year now.
Very simple - me, playing guitar, taken "in the moment".
"But Max, I have no hobbies and my life is boring, what can I do?"
Don't worry, this extremely detailed Tinder guide has got your back.
Here's a quick step by step on injecting more cool activities into your life:
Write down a list of 5 new activities that you’re curious about.
Take a calendar and mark down 5 afternoons on which you will try those out.
Take action and go do those activities.
Try to have someone take a picture of yourself to add to your Tinder profile when enjoying those activities.
Figure out the top 3 activities that you liked most out of those 5 activities.
Plan another afternoon in your calendar for each of those 3.
Repeat steps 3 and 4. Go there, take more pictures, and make more friends.
Figure out if you wish to keep doing any of those 3 activities. If not, go back to step 1 and find new activities.
Interesting hobbies are super important to reel women in. Remember, no hobby no honey. |
If it doesn't work out at first, don't give up.
Passion comes from repeated practice.
You have to try something more than once to develop a passion for it.
So make sure to try at least a few times before quitting.
Show that You're Social to Hype her Up
The 4th recommend photo is a shot that shows other people love to hang out with you.
You want to reassure her about the fact that you're not a creep, you're not a weirdo.
You're a sociable, well-adjusted human being who can give value to others around him.
See, before going on a date, women have a lot of concerns:
Is he really what he pretends he is?
What if the date is boring or awkward?
Can I trust this guy, is it worth my time?
Women will think this way because the overwhelming majority of guys on Tinder are losers.
But not you.
The only problem is that she doesn't know it yet.
So to reassure her, show some of that good social pre-selection through a social shot.
Avoid anything that involves your ex (or any woman that could be misinterpreted as such).
And avoid photos of you and the boys enjoying a drink or a meal, as well as wedding photos.
Those show that other people like you, sure, but every other guy has such a photo.
And you want to stand out.
Prefer photos taken "in the moment", in which you're the center of attention.
Here's the photo of Joe, who you might know as a Game Global instructor.
It's an amazing social shot because:
He's the center of attention
He's in a dream-like place, having fun
He's surrounded by happy women
Alright, that was it for the profile part of this detailed Tinder guide.
Now, with a better Tinder profile the matches are going to roll in.
So let's see exactly how to text girls on Tinder.
How to Text Girls on Tinder
With experience, you will see that texting women on Tinder is not that much about convincing them to go out with you.
It's more about pushing for a date and handling the various objections she might give you.
In doing so, there are 4 main steps to text girls on Tinder you want to go through.
What's so good about it?
Once you master those 4 steps you can consistently get results out of dating apps.
1 - Send an Engaging Conversation Starter
Here's a conversation starter you've probably seen times and times again.
Is it a bad conversation starter?
Absolutely not, it does so many things well:
It's engaging
It's not tryhard or weird
It's polarizing just a little bit
Should you use it?
Most likely no.
See, I'm pretty sure every girl has seen this Tinder opener before.
Please consider my fruity variation instead:
But in all seriousness:
Outside of being probably the most overused Tinder opener, it has another big problem.
What do you say after?
In fact, it's the main complaint guys have with this Tinder opener.
Because your Tinder match is most likely going to reply something like this:
And you're still stuck, and the conversation still hasn't started yet.
The main problem with this Tinder opener is that it's betting on the girl actually starting the conversation for you.
If she doesn't reply "Why do you say I am trouble? 😂😂" you're back to square one.
Instead, I want to teach you how to actually start an engaging conversation.
Lead, and Girls Will Follow
In order to come up with a great Tinder opener, you have to understand a very important thing:
It's not what you say that matters, it's how you say it.
You must shift your mindset from "having a conversation that gets her to reply" to "having a conversation that leads to a date".
In other words, you don't want to react to her messages on a text-by-text basis.
But you must have an overall idea of where you're leading the conversation.
So that instead of trying to come up with the perfect text that will get a reply, you're instead steering the conversation overall towards something flirtatious, and then a date.
Pro Tip: The main thing that you want to look for is her degree of compliance. Not how much she writes back, not how many personal details she gives you. |
Because see, girls are absolutely allergic to logical conversations that go nowhere.
If you're trying to "get to know her" over text messages, she will reply once or twice (if she likes you).
And she will quickly forget your conversation because of how boring it became.
And because I will already have asked her out, while you're still talking about the dog in her pics.
Sorry, fam.
Because you should instead focus on leading towards a date.
With that in mind, the only thing you must do with your first text is to make it engaging and not tryhard.
So let's see how to do that in detail.
How to Create an Engaging First Text
There are 2 main ways to come up with an efficient Tinder opener.
First, you will find an interesting detail in her profile and comment on it.
It can be anything: from her photos, from her bio, her prompts, etc.
It shouldn't take you more than 15 seconds to come up with a comment.
So go for it, don't overthink this part.
Pro Tip: Avoid asking questions, try to turn them into statements. Questions do not add to a conversation, while a statement of one's opinion (ie. a comment) does. |
And if really there is nothing interesting about her profile to come up with an engaging Tinder opener, keep reading.
Here's an example: she was dancing in her profile and just made a comment on it.
It's not extremely witty, and it's definitely not super smart.
But there's no need to.
Because the first message is just here to make sure she wants to talk to me.
And if you followed well so far, you know that most of the "convincing her to reply" is done through a high-quality profile.
So let's now see the second way to start a conversation on Tinder.
The next best kind of Tinder opener is a message that will either:
Make her curious
Make her laugh
This is why you see so many "Tinder pickup lines" on the web.
Because those are usually great at getting girls (and people in general) curious.
Or are great Tinder lines to get women to smile.
And such strong emotions always have an impact.
This helps you to stand out on Tinder.
Here's an example of a line I like to use to make girls curious.
And here's a Tinder opener to make her chuckle.
Both work great because they stand out and make her wonder:
"Who IS this guy? Why doesn't he do it like every other guy?"
In the end, whether you say something engaging, something fun or something to make her curious, your Tinder opener will stand out.
And you will have the best chance to get her to reply.
But hey, not so fast.
Do you remember when I talked about leading girls towards something?
Let's see how to do that right now through the second, probably most important step to text girls on Tinder.
2 - Make the Conversation Flirtatious
You sent your funny opener, she replied, now what?
We are going to link this to the idea of you and her ending up on a romantic date.
How?
It's actually super simple.
Disclaimer: If you're like 96% of most men, this step will feel too pushy to you. Don't worry, keep going, that's how the top dogs lead their Tinder matches to a date. |
You are going to do just that.
You will let her know that you're here to make the love happen.
But what if she just wants to be friends, or if she just doesn't accept it when you try to make the conversation flirtatious?
I made a video to answer that: you want to break rapport every time she gets off track to filter out timewasters.
Here's the point:
You will banter back and forth, and say something that implies you and her together in a romantic setting.
If she wants to meet someone and if she actually likes you, she will comply.
How to Make your Text Flirtatious
Because you don't want to bluntly state your interest, there are 4 ways to flirt on Tinder.
Hint at your interest
Hint at her interest in you
Hint at your mutual interest in each other
Hint at a situation in which you guys are together in a romantic setting
Emphasis on the word "hint".
If you tell her bluntly that you like her it might work sometimes, but that'd kill all mystery.
It's just more efficient to be subtle because it gives her the opportunity to chase you.
My favorite way to do this is to ask girls screening questions to get them to qualify to me.
I'm basically asking her if she's a cool girl, the subtext being me asking her to show she's good enough for me.
It's nice because it flips the script on the usual way men text women:
Most men try to convince women that they are good enough for her to come out on a date.
But it's just way more attractive to get women to qualify themselves to you instead of qualifying yourself to them.
Eventually, she's going to comply with the idea of having a flirtatious interaction.
And again if she does not, that's one of the big red telling signs that a girl is not interested on Tinder.
But if she likes you and if she's actually looking for a date, she will accept your frame.
And once she complies with having a flirtatious conversation, you then move towards making a date happen.
3 - Push Towards a Date Activity
Then we want to engage what I call a 'soft-close'.
So far you figured out that:
She is using Tinder and wants to talk to you
She is interested in something romantic/flirtatious
So the third step is to make sure that actually she wants to go out with you.
To do so, you will lead the conversation towards the idea of a meetup.
But you can't just be blunt and rush it there either.
It's very important that you keep the conversation smooth while you lead to a date.
Because if you don't it's going to sound very robotic.
And you will appear creepy, thirsty, and get ghosted.
So remember:
To make a girl at ease on Tinder, you want to banter properly.
The Secret Recipe to Efficient Text Banter
Again, while the main point is leading towards a date, you don't want to be too blunt.
If every single one of your texts is trying to make a meetup happen, you will look desperate.
If none of your texts is trying to make a meetup happen, she will get bored.
So to strike that perfect balance you need to bounce back and forth on what she says with humor.
Sounds tough?
Don't worry there's an example below.
But first, let me explain exactly how to banter over texts.
Here are the 4 easiest ways to banter:
You make her talk about herself.
You say something fun or interesting.
You make her qualify to you.
You tease her.
(Those work exactly the same when meeting women in real life by the way.)
Remember that bantering is just a tool to make your conversation smoother.
The main goal is still having her agree on a date.
But you will admit that a conversation like the one below is way more interesting and engaging than simply setting up plans.
Here I have outlined in red the exact part where I push for the idea of a date.
See how it's embedded in our ongoing banter?
It makes the whole interaction appear way more genuine and natural.
4 - Set up Plans or Ask for Her Contact
So far she agreed to everything, awesome.
And it would just be weird for her to not agree on a time and place.
Just make sure to be assertive and precise in closing the deal.
If you're busy like me and you never know when you're free, I recommend you take her contact instead of setting up a date directly on Tinder.
Plans change, and it's just better to have her IG or her phone number to communicate.
How to Deal with Difficult Girls on Tinder?
She might make herself a bit difficult, and she might not comply to your lead.
Or she might be a terrible texter, or terrible at planning her own schedule.
That happens, and it would be too bad to mistake her lack of coordination for a lack of interest in you.
I wrote this article to show you an in-depth example of how to text difficult girls on Tinder, check it out.
That's really key here, you want to lead her to a date without looking for her validation.
Here's a video in which I break down how I dealt with a girl who was giving me over 5 objections and got her to come to my house on the first date.
Should You Take a Girl's Number or Her Instagram?
Honestly, it just depends on the quality of your Instagram.
If you're not confident that your IG makes you stand out, keep some of the mystery and go for the phone number.
It might also be that she's being difficult because she's not actually interested.
You want to be able to figure that out as well, and we do that by breaking rapport.
Here's my latest video on how to break rapport over texts in case you find that Tinder girls string you along way too often.
Alright.
We just went over the 4 steps to get a date on Tinder.
Let's now see a Tinder case study comparing a good Tinder interaction and a bad one.
Case Study of a Good VS a Bad Tinder Conversation
Let's start with the bad example to highlight the mistakes that were made.
You will notice that proper Tinder game simply looks way leaner.
Because there are fewer mistakes being made, and less pointless chit-chat overall.
The Bad - Reactive, Not Leading, Conversational
Here's an example I saw recently where the guy asked why he got ghosted.
Let's break down his conversation and see the mistakes you must avoid on Tinder.
He started strong with 2 of the worst things he could possibly text:
A compliment
"How are you?"
Starting off with a compliment is terrible because it kills all mystery.
Yes, she knows you're interested in her, every guy she matches with wants to bang her.
Mentioning your interest again immediately puts you in the "like every other guy" category.
(Even if he did it in a backhanded way, because the innuendo here is that she has good taste because she likes him.)
Look at the sub-communication:
He is putting her and himself up, which is wrong.
He should instead hint at the possibility of his interest, that maybe he likes her.
You want to keep her on her toes.
This "maybe" is what creates sexual tension, and gets girls to chase.
She has to hope that you will ask her out, you have to make her fight a bit for your approval.
Which he did not.
But he also added the most boring conversation starter ever.
Double fail, he put himself in the SIMP basket before she even replied anything.
Have a look at how he followed up.
It's weak, it doesn't add anything to the conversation, and it's basically begging for her to talk to him.
On top of associating himself with the least sexual GIF probably ever (a little baby girl).
The main problem he has so far is that he's waiting for her to lead instead of being the one to lead the conversation.
Because he is too nice, he is afraid to lose her by showing some edge.
Let's see what comes after.
He continues with a small talk that clearly goes nowhere, and that might be his biggest mistake.
It's clear that the girl is less invested than him, she didn't even bother to check her auto text.
On the other hand, he is way too invested in this girl, probably because he doesn't have a lot of options.
So he writes a lot and says stupid things to appear funny.
While the only thing it actually does is reducing more and more any kind of attraction she had for him.
Remember: as soon as you're afraid to lose her and be left alone, you will lose her.
Scarcity is a death sentence when it comes to dating.
You must take that risk and do the scary thing that might lose you the girl.
In his book, 12 Rules for Life: an Antitode to Chaos, Jordan Peterson talks about how you're still taking risks when you're not taking risks.
(Go read that book if you haven't, it's self-dev p0rn.)
And this is true with dating:
If you don't take the risk to put your personality out there, you take the risk to be boring.
If you don't take the risk to enforce your boundaries, you take the risk of being walked all over.
If you don't take the risk to ask her out, you take the risk of letting another guy do.
Further down, he continues with the useless small talk.
Then not only does he start complaining, but he also starts complaining about things that do not matter whatsoever.
Further boring her to death.
Down the line, he didn't make any clear move.
She got bored.
And probably she went out with another guy who wasn't as slow in asking her out.
Now let's look at the proper way to ask a girl out on Tinder.
The Good - She Complies (but still gives me trouble at the end)
Here's an example of a girl who agreed to everything, but refused to share her phone number with me in the end.
I still led that hard to a date and handled her objection properly.
First, my favorite opener.
It gets her engaged enough to ask me a question, awesome.
But that first message alone won't make a date happen.
So then comes the turning point.
I immediately make the conversation about the two of us together.
Because I want her to know that I'm here looking for a cool date partner.
And based on her reaction to this, I'll know if she's worth pursuing or not.
Here she complied, and actually showed some interest by saying we could test it.
So I followed with a bit of banter as I explained above.
With this, I can move smoothly towards the next step: pushing for a date activity.
Quickly and without any kind of transition, I ask if she likes cocktails.
She does, awesome, I'm then pushing for the idea of us having cocktails together.
So far so good.
But she started being a little bit difficult when I asked for her number.
instead, she wanted to talk on Instagram.
No problem.
I told her that I don't use Instagram because it's too distracting.
Since she likes me and wants our date to happen, she is going to help me find solutions.
(And if she wouldn't, then it'd mean she didn't actually like me.)
Always Be Leading
See, when you follow the steps right, getting dates on Tinder becomes extremely easy.
And I'm not telling you that every girl you match with will go on a date with you.
But I'm telling you that with this method you will figure out extremely quickly when girls do not want to go on a date.
While having the most efficient method to get girls who actually do want to go on a date.
And with this extremely detailed Tinder guide, you also learned what makes the best Tinder profile.
So that you can have the most chances to get more Tinder matches.
You will then be able to transform your Tinder matches into Tinder dates.
And if you like that article, you might be interested in joining a community of guys working on improving their dating lives.
We share our own experiences and push each other up!
Don't hesitate to drop by and share a screenshot of your difficult Tinder conversations.
And if you're looking to understand how dating apps fit in the dating world as a whole nowadays, check out my book Modern World Dating.
Cheers!